“My Trauma Makes Me A Better Musician” and Other Truths from a Flute Teacher with PTSD

From childhood PTSD, being groomed, car accidents, and various types of abuse in my life all the way up to my college years where I experienced what I’ve dubbed “teacher trauma,” burnout, anger, and general distrust of the system that I fell in love with, I have stories galore that shaped me. There were many moments where I believed these stories would make me a less desirable teacher - someone who couldn’t relate or properly traumatize students the way that the classical music world taught me I needed to. I believed I “wasn’t cut out for it” and I “wasn’t mentally tough enough” for the job of being a professional musician and teacher, when the reality is that my trauma and my experiences were (in the background) helping to mold me into an empathetic musician and teacher - one that can spot emotional distress from a mile away and one that can make you feel something in a piece that may come across as static if performed by someone with less understanding of the emotions the composer was trying to convey.