Tried and True Ways to Boost Musical Confidence
Everyone lacks confidence sometimes. Sometimes, it takes over our lives to the point that we can’t bring ourselves to continue on. Sometimes, we skip practice session upon practice session because we feel inadequate, like we’ll never be as good as we want to be - so, what gives? Most of the time, confidence doesn’t magically appear. We make it ourselves. So, here’s a few tried and true ways to manufacture some confidence - at least enough to get you back into the practice room.
Would you talk to a friend like that?
Negative self-talk is a biggy for us musicians. We’re perfectionists. We’re used to being pitted against one another from the time we’re old enough to start competing. We’re constantly being told and telling ourselves that we’ll be good if we can just get to the next step, which turns into the next step and the next and the next. So, we have to learn to turn that negative self-talk on its head.
For this assignment, let’s write down all of those things, in a list format. Write down all of the mean things that you’re saying to yourself right now about your music (or in general - this is a great exercise in and out of the practice room). Now, turn that piece of paper over and write the inverse of those things. Write what you would say to a person who was saying those things to a close friend of yours. You wouldn’t tolerate that, would you? Absolutely not! Write down why your negative thoughts are wrong… because, simply put, they are.
Stop searching for your musical nemesis.
As I pointed out earlier, musicians are used to being in competition. Healthy competition is great, but there does come a point where it stops serving you and stops serving everyone around you. It doesn’t matter if they have perfect pitch and you don’t. It doesn’t matter if they’re playing the Muczynski and you’re playing the Mozart. You’re all headed towards the same goal - to be the best musician that you can be. So, if they’re being extra competitive, start hyping them up. Lead by example. Be their biggest champion in masterclasses, in group lessons, and at recitals. If you’re the one being competitive, then cut that out. Music may seem like a lone wolf type of game, but really, it’s a team sport. We’re constantly learning from one another and if you alienate another musician because you think they’re better (or worse) than you are, then you’re depriving yourself and them of so much experience and learning. Hype. Them. Up.
Forget what your instructor has assigned.
Take a day (or two) and practice what brings you joy. It’s okay if you’re set back by a day or two, or even a week in your lessons because you didn’t practice you’re assigned material. It’s better than no practice at all. I would way rather my student came in and said “I practiced this instead of my assigned pieces because I was struggling with my mental health” than “I didn’t practice at all.” And, if that does upset your instructor, simply apologize and explain. Maybe they can help you find other ways to balance the confidence struggles your having. If you don’t have an instructor and you’re only accountable to yourself, remember to be kind. This is a marathon, not a sprint. You’ll be fine.
At the end of the day, kindness is key. Being kind to ourselves and being mindful of where we are in our journey is wildly important. If you need to take a day out of the practice room, then do it. Don’t stay away for too long, and please please don’t quit. Lacking a little confidence doesn’t mean you aren’t great. Showing up is the sign of a great musician. I’m proud of you for showing up.
If you would like to take lessons and learn more about my confidence and mindfulness training, I’d love to hear from you! Click here to contact me, or check out my Offerings page!
